THE VIRILITY SOLUTION: THE ROAD TO HEIGHTENED INTIMACY
TAKING A PILL to regain lost erectile function is an incredible development in the history of drug intervention. But the pill itself cannot obliterate the other problems a couple experiencing ED may have. In fact, in certain circumstances, it may even add to the existing issues with which the pair has had to cope.
One of my greatest concerns as a physician is that the new treatment for ED gives people an unrealistic expectation about their ability to immediately cure their emotional relationships along with their physical ones.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
It is no secret that men and women react differently to sex— before, during, and after it takes place. The availability of a new quick, painless treatment for ED can have one impact on men and quite another on women. Consider the comments I’ve heard in my office:
From a thirty-three-year-old man under tremendous work-related stress: “The pill is the best thing lhal could have happened to me.”
From a fifty-two-year-old man whose extra poundage and drinking made ED a constant companion: “In one way I feel great because I can have sex again. But in another I feel awful, because I can’t hide behind my weight anymore.”
His fifty-four-year-old wife had a different view of the situation: “For the last five years his primary relationship has been with food. Now everything has changed and, frankly, I’m not happy about it. It sort of puts the focus on me now.”
A forty-six-year-old man, on the verge of a divorce after eight years of marriage, told me: “Ever since I found out that a drug could help me, I’ve wondered how to use it. Our marriage was based, to a large degree, on sex. For two years we’ve been trying to find other ways to communicate. We never did. Having the means to have sex again is wonderful—but I have to ask myself, what kind of relationship did we have in the first place?”
His forty-three-year-old wife concurred: “He’s right. It was a big reality check to see how little we had in common. Yes—I’d like to have sex with him again. But where do we go from there?”
*55\183\8*
